So far, this week has been one magical moment after the next, most of which have involved grading. I know, you are all incredibly jealous of the fact that every couple of weeks I have to read, analyze, grade, and comment on hundreds of student essays that demonstrate only the most minimal understanding of English language or literature. I know I shouldn’t boast, but, hey, sometimes I just can’t help myself.
It’s a good thing, though, to know that my students are all Regulars, not those pesky Élites we all love to hate. (And for a hilarious/terrifying look at the gap between the Regulars and the Élites, please to see this piece by George Saunders in The New Yorker.)
Here’s an example of just how Regular they are:
In the enlightenment era there were many of fascinating writings all with many different meanings. When thinking about enlightenment and readins of that nature we tend to think of letters and poems during the 18th century and dates prior to the French revolution. This era by some is even known as the Age of Reason. One writing that I am going to focus on and translate in depth to what is really being said is a piece by the famous writer [redacted] titles [redacted]. This poem goes to show a controversial way of stating that beauty is above all.
This story which was written by the inspiration of an actual event carries many messages and a lot of humor in it. [Redacted] takes a look at the situations that are raised by the takings of a lock of hair from a young woman. The passionate theft of this young woman caused a small feud between the two families that were of the passionate man and the family of the young woman. The lock that was clipped from the young woman’s head who is named Belinda is now sought after by the families in feud. This poem then goes on with an abundance of drama and persistence of the passion of love and with that embedded in the story brings out humor and hatred in the poem and makes it a good read. The two major themes from this poem though are up for debate is lust-obsession and morality.
[And yes, before you ask, this writer is a native speaker of English. He's from the area and I'm betting his daddy owns either a lot of land and/or a really pretty sailboat.]
[Also, I'm not trying to hide the name of the text from you, but I don't want people searching the title to wind up here.]
Even beyond the appallingly incomprehensible way in which this is written, there are almost too many factual inaccuracies to count. Beyond all that, what’s the thesis? “These are two themes?” THAT’S ALL YOU GOT?
I am pretty sure this dude would make a great president! He’s approximately as coherent and correct as Sarah Palin is, right? Let’s hear it for the Regulars!
I especially enjoy that between one sentence and the next, the woman’s lock of hair seems to magically turn into the woman herself! This poem seems like quite a read!
“Who’s elite now, Bullwinkle?” and dog collar! I have George Saunders-related tourrette’s.
Two paragraphs to get to “there are two themes”! WUNDERBAR!
That’s not even a thesis, man, I do not envy you. Although, I might one day, when I have to grade exams like the one we just got back in O-chem. Class average? 48%. I would cry if I had that many students fail to learn in my class.
hahahahahahaha…if you left the title in, judging by past experience, you’d prolly get some genius student plagiarizing it down the road.
That’s amazing. You should preserve that snippet and all others like it so when the Regulars out-breed the Elites they will have their literary heritage already documented. In this way they won’t have to take time away from their intense creativity and can keep producing such Magnum Opi!