You there! Look here: I have a tiny space for tiny posts right here in the sidebar. Isn’t it brilliant?
Monthly Archive for March, 2008
One of my good friends here recently accused me of being contrary. The only appropriate response to this is, of course, “I am SO NOT contrary!”
The reason she said it was that in the midst of one of those shop-talking discussions where people were talking about how to teach certain texts in our survey courses, I had burst out with something along the lines of “Well, I can’t tell you anything about teaching ‘The Wasteland,’ because you know what? Fuck ‘The Wasteland.’” And see, I don’t know why that would make anyone think I am contrary. What?
My friend also cited the fact that I dislike things that are nearly universally beloved by people in my own age and hipness bracket, among them David Bowie and, hypothetically, The Wire. In my defense, first of all, I dislike Bowie because he sucks, plain and simple. As far as The Wire, although I haven’t been wowed yet, I cannot say I have an official opinion on it at this point. I will get back to the world on that one (since the world is so eager to know — seriously, I have no fewer than seven people encouraging me to watch this show, and that’s seven people I actually know, not even including the countless internet citizens).
I think, though, people might not find me as abrasive if I could resist making comments like “Fuck ‘The Wasteland,’” you know? But I can’t. I say nasty shit like that all the time, for no real reason other than that it amuses me. I don’t even have any particular beef with T.S. Eliot. I feel neutral about “The Wasteland,” and I even love some of his other poems.
Here’s another example: Y’all know how much I love Achewood, and how I am constantly proclaiming Chris Onstad the “funniest man in America,” right? Well, the only time I have corresponded with him it was to make a snarky comment about the subject matter of his strip. (I’m relatively alone on this one, if you’ll forgive me the illogical phrase “relatively alone,” but I hated the “Great Outdoor Fight” storyline. Ha-ted. Well, actually, again, I felt neutral about it, but since I love the other stuff that neutrality once again represented itself as hate in my tiny range of emotions.) He had posted a line about why he hadn’t updated that day, and it was something about how the baby had accidentally deleted his painstakingly drawn Jeeps, and I was all like, “Hey, I think the baby had the right idea.”
WTF? And the dude is actually so cool and nice that he emailed me back that same day all, “don’t worry, we’re back to the regular content tomorrow.” And then I felt like a total shit. Why would I send him that email, as opposed to a nice email telling him that I love his strip and think he is the funniest man in America? Why? Because I am kind of a bitch. A contrary one.
Other things I have been known to decry (whether I hate them or merely feel neutral about them) have included, over the years: musicals, ice cream, birthdays, love, sunshine, chocolate cake, popcorn, pudding, roses, parties, good health, various virtues, and society in general.
So, basically, I am a joy to be around. And to read, I’m sure. A lot of people (bloggers specifically) go on about how they embrace positivity and aren’t trying to be negative or critical or spread hate and discontent but rather create an environment of love, appreciation, and open communication. Therefore, they won’t affect an attitude of superiority. (Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the ironing in that statement, okay?) Well, you know what? I am here to be critical. My whole philosophy of life is based on being critical. I also truly, perversely, deeply enjoy complaining. It is a distinct pleasure all its own, and I won’t apologize for it. It doesn’t mean I want to spread discontent, but I’ll splash around in it for a while if it’s there.
The halcyon days of last week are no more. That’s right, it’s back to school for me. No more staying up all night talking and drinking and singing along with the Indigo Girls (what?), no more relaxing on the couch and watching Season 1 of Buffy again, no more spontaneous afternoon trips to the park. Oh no.
Tomorrow, its Back to School: Lite Version. I have a couple of library sessions with the writing students, and an afternoon of conferring (or, of you prefer, “conferencing”) with the lit students, so I won’t even be back to the classroom until Thursday. Thank dog for Past Vague’s clever planning and scheduling.
Today, in spite of the light schedule tomorrow, I still had to get back to the office and work on some planning for the week as well as all the grading I, um, did not exactly do over the break. I had a pile of about 200 reading quizzes, 50 reader responses, and 50 composition essays awaiting my attention when I got to school today. Let’s just say I did not exactly finish all of that. I think the comp essays are going to have to wait until later in the week. I did, however, bring about half of them home with me in case I felt like grading some this evening. I can tell you though, that is not going to happen. It was merely a case of optimistic packing (i.e. where you pack work to take with you somewhere knowing full well you aren’t going to do it). I mean, honestly, who can work when The Hills is coming back on tonight?!
In addition to all of that grading, of course, I have been emailing and arranging and printing and copying and faxing as if there were no tomorrow. Honestly, sometimes this feels awfully similar to office jobs I have had in the past. Except that here, there are no giant baskets of candy and bagels, and no fridge stocked with soft drinks. What we do have, food-wise, is a fridge constantly ripe with the smell of people’s forgotten lunches, and usually a passive-aggressive note (or several) warning faculty that their precious, moldering, half-eaten sandwiches will be THROWN AWAY if they do not claim them soon. Heavens!
Latest Comments
RSS