I passed and am now officially a doctor. So far I have learned that doctors have a lot of drinks bought for them. Doctors also get to sleep in. Sometimes doctors are faced with problems, like a headache, for example, or like the sudden inability to figure out how to put on a tank top. Hey, tank tops are confusing. Nonetheless, as in all things, doctors will face these problems bravely.
I am still not sure where my minions are, however. I was told there would be minions, and right now I need said minions to bring me some sushi. Still waiting for the minions.
Did they teach you the secret handshake, Doctor?
Isn’t being done a wonderful feeling? It’s a wonderful feeling. You’re a real person, and not as stupid as they thought you were. You don’t realize how oppressive that damned thesis was until the weight is lifted. Or so I found.
Congratulations, and here’s hoping for minimal corrections.
Congratulations, doctor! (I like using the honorific ‘doctor’ so much that I think I’ll just say it over and over again: doctor, doctor, doctor.)
Would some virtual sushi do?
Herr Doktor Professor! Congratulations!
Dr the Vague has a good ring to it. Well done.
Genuine conversation between me and flight attendant on Singapore Airlines shortly after conferral of my degree
Flight attendant: Doctor Harley?
Me: Is there an emergency? I’m not a medical doctor! I’m a…
Flight attendant: But are you having the vegetarian option?
Anyway, mazel tov, you cleverpants, you.
congratulations, lady! or, i guess, dr. lady!
Can I have some morphine please?
seriously, where are the minions?