Grade sixty World Literature essays.
Grade thirty Composition essays.
Grade sixty World Literature midterm exams.
Make up an assignment for the next Composition paper, which, good glaven, is just around the corner.
Finalize the last dissertation chapter.
Write a conclusion to the dissertation cementing my Place of Greatness in the annals of literary scholarship.
Go back and get rid of all the parenthetical profanity and punctuation (the fuck???) (citation!?!!) I have left behind.
Change chapter titles from things like “Some Things About Absalom, Absalom!” to things that are clever but not jargony and cool but not too clever.
Mail reviewers’ copies back to Zembla.
Be observed teaching class by the department head.
Teach a bunch of ancient Chinese texts I have no business teaching.
Fool department head into thinking I have any business teaching said texts.
Bitch.
Either do laundry or buy new underwear, according to the results of my careful time vs money algorithm.
Figure out a laundry vs underwear purchase, time vs money algorithm.
If it would make you feel better, you could probably cross ‘bitch’ off of the list now ;)
That would be true, if I were done bitching, WHICH I AM NOT.
That is many essays to grade! I propose that the dog and the cat pull their weight! Get grading, lower mammals!
Man, no wonder some of my new professors and graduate assistants often had semi-coherent, vaguely outlined paper assignments during the middle of the term. It’s because they had crazy schedules and were trying to formulate their own time vs. money underwear algorithms.