i’m surprised u dont get the intentionally-unattached attachment trick all the time. god knows every time i’m writing a paper last-minute, my mind is utterly CONSUMED with the temptation and no matter how hard i try i can’t put it out of my mind — it’s preoccupying, everpresent and utterly inexteripable at 5 am. which is why the very few times ive ever done it, i was entirely shocked if it worked and wondered why more ppl didnt try it too. but the flipside can kind of be a bitch - b/c youre automatically locked in to the necessity of acting self-righteous and indignant and uberoffended if the prof subsequently questions your honesty — which is kind of a major guilt trip and makes you even more paranoid than before re: whether the prof sees through the feigned indignation as well as the original lie — like, you’ll never really know how much of an asshole they think you are/arent. and then how are you supposed to act in front of them? if youre uberrespectful thereafter, it probably comes across as you having underestimated their intelligence or arrogantly having presumed their memory span is in goldfish-rivalling territory; probably the whole thing is more trouble than it’s worth, huh.

seriously tho - what’s up with no one being able to read/write/spell or do math at ALL anymore? it’s, like, so commonplace it’s not even a stigma. worst is those profs who are functional illiterates and don’t know/care. gah.

okay clearly my lucidity is impaired again and im’ sleep-typing. forgive me! back to dreams of intravenously-fed fetuses

This is the biggest problem for me with these emails. The utter fucking impertinence. Damn.