I finally tempered my mild case of exhaustion with a weekend full of sleep, and lovely it was indeed. Whatever ominous dreams usually disturb my slumber were quickly forgotten. This morning I did not even have to rise early to frantically prepare for class, as today was a film-screening day. We spent our time studying one of contemporary cinema’s finest masterpieces, pens poised to jot down the life-changing revelations that would come as lines like the one quoted in this post’s title boomed out of the classroom’s surround-sound system. A good time was had by me, at least. This was followed by yet another nap, some productive meetings with students (and proud we are of all of them), and now, now! I am on my way to procure a drink. I’ll let you guess what I am ordering.
Monthly Archive for May, 2006
There has been a lot going on here in Zembla–a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous. I have been on a strict drug and alcohol regimen: gotta keep the mind limber, you know? Friday was a red-letter day like nothing I have seen lately. It was such a red-letter day, in fact, that much celebrating had to be done, turning Saturday into what one might call a red-face, red-eye type of day. Here is a list of all of the awesome things that happened on Friday:
1. I got a new apartment! You didn’t really know I was moving, did you? Well, aside from the fact that I no longer find living next to a geyser of sewage “charming” or “quaint,” and aside from the fact that, technically, my cat and my dog are not allowed to be here, there is the fact that this complex is so old and crapped out that it is being sold and may even be torn down. Everyone must go. This is a good thing. I don’t have to move out until the end of August, but with my luck, I decided the sooner, the better. The new place will be a palatial den of luxury, including, but not limited to the following amenities: actual functioning plumbing, no one upstairs from me, a bathroom counter (for months I have had nowhere to set my toothbrush!), garbage disposal, a pool. The only drawback is the necessary re-tooling of my budget. Monies now being spent on frivolities like food will now be earmarked for the Massive Rent Increase. Thrills ahead!
2. I get to keep my job! And, see, I bet you didn’t know this was worrying me either, as I was far too freaked out to say anything about it. My program makes us apply to keep the same teaching fellowship year after year, and it seemed like this year it was taking them a really long time to notify us about our status for next year. At least, that was what I thought was going on. It turned out they notified everyone but me. And then they put the schedule of Fall courses on line, and I wasn’t teaching any of them. My mind raced with theories of what was going on as I waited for some higher-ups to respond to my frantic inquiries. They hated me! My research isn’t trendy enough! They found out I ridicule my students on an internet world-wide weblog! In public! They hate the sound of my voice! I am unprofessional! I smell! Oh my god! (I can obsess paranoiacally with the best of them.) Before I started imagining any far-blown University conspiracies, though, my department head got back to me and told me I was approved for teaching next year, but no one knew what classes I wanted. They thought I hadn’t even turned in an application, but were planning on funding me anyway. Which means, I guess, they must…like me? Ridiculous. Anyway, they found the application (which I had anally turned in early) and all is well for me and the children of Zembla. I will continue earning poverty-line wages for my pitiful attempts to teach them that “bias” is a noun and “quote” is a verb. Then I can make fun of them on the internet.
3. My adviser said some extremely positive things about my dissertation: things like I am “doing exciting things” and am “out there in the front” and “on the edge” and it is “going to be great.” Once I am fully convinced she wasn’t being sarcastic, I will be able to remember these words at moments when I freak out about my research not being trendy enough. I am on the edge, people, and that appears to be a good thing.
4. Oh my god, guys, the infamous Chinese Upstairs Neighbors moved out! This is, like, so totally the best thing ever. I am moving out this weekend, but at least my last five days in this dump will not be punctuated with their shouting, stomping, screaming, crying, furniture-slamming, basketball-dribbling ways. Good riddance to those freaks. I hope they have the luck to wind up in a place with dodgy plumbing where their loud upstairs neighbors are constantly attempting to flush unflushable items. Or that the people who park next to them write graffiti in the dew on their car in a language they don’t understand. Or maybe just that they trip and fall in public, as long as it’s something. Fuckers.
Hopefully all of these fabulous developments will give me the necessary counterweight to the unimaginably dull stack of drivel I have to grade tonight and tomorrow. A few glances through the papers made it apparent already that several students sat down to write without any of the books at hand. I think if they can’t even get the name of the author or the title of the novel right, I should just give them an F, no questions asked. Or a punch in the neck. What do you think?
Latest Comments
RSS