You will wait until the last minute to write the paper and wind up not knowing whether it is good or not, and you will forget something essential to your hygiene routine, like deodorant. You will arrive smelly and with a potentially bad paper, which will not, in the end, matter.
There will be a lot of organized eating and drinking, which, if you are not made of stone, you will like. Bring on the smoked cheese, friend; I’ll just go and see if there is any more wine.
There may, in fact, be slightly too much organized drinking the night before you have to give your talk, resulting in your having the persistent, haunting fear that everyone else in the room can hear the spit (or rather, dearth of spit) moving around in your mouth when you talk. This is purely hypothetical of course.
The day of talks will be followed by another night of organized drinking, which will serve to make each person feel the warmth of academic bonhomie and the excitement of meeting new people from far-away places will result in a cheery battle of "that’s so cool," "no that’s so cool, I mean, really" as you stand around on a front porch where it is not chilly outside even at three in the morning.
Someone will put on Curtis Mayfield.
You will not sleep enough. You will decide the paper was fine after all. You will leave behind the newly-purchased, twice-used deodorant that you only picked out because it was called "Ambition," and you decided By God you needed some of that. You will figure you don’t need it that much, anymore.
Didja meet anyone from my U.? I think I talked to someone last week who said she was going to a lit conference in LV. Us MFA’ers aren’t as lucky. We don’t get to go to conferences. But we do get to apply for art grants to travel and do “research”. Oh how I love to do “research”.
Sounds like an overall good time. Deodorants have names like ambition now? Huh? Is it supposed to be aromatherapy or what?
sounds loverlie, m’dear.
lawyer conferences blow. they are super boring and involve no booze and lots of power point presentations. and a mandatory hour on eithcs. blargh.
i am so excited about the upcoming thing which i will mention only obliquely until you say something!
Oedipa– Actually I was only in LV for a layover, but they have the slots and wifi and my favorite sleazy airport bartender there, so a fine layover it was. I did meet someone from Clarabella’s school and someone from Jeremy’s school, though.
(Hello, C and J, I met people from your schools!)
Jenny– It was good. About the deo: It was a fragrance made by Secret, which I thought was odd, as all their other fragrances are perfectly normal, like “Spring Rain” and “Powder Fresh” and “Unscented.” So of course, I had to have it.
Mel– Haha, lawyer conferences blo-how! I know, and am excited about the Other Thing too. Can’t spill the beans till* after this coming weekend, though. Am horribly afraid of jinxing it.
*Hey World, yes, this is the “till” you are supposed to use.
Ooh, I’m excited for your secret excitement! :D
Wait - so you won’t be telling us until after the 9th? the 10th? ARGH! What if I guess correctly? Can we have a hint? I’m not good with secrets, but I totally understand the non-jinx issue.
I might be able to say something as soon as Saturday night, I think. But don’t get too, too excited…it might only be exciting to me.
i didn’t respond at first to this blog, b/c you summed up perfectly the lit conferences i’ve been to. free booze and cheese. lovely.
so you met the el jeffo? how was that. i have a few stories to go with him, none too interesting, i suppose. as i said before, he’s harmless, but something interesting.
can’t wait for the surprise. don’t worry about jinxes. they’ll be plenty other to worry about. ha!
Yeah, I finally talked to him towards the end of the night, and I was all “yooooouu know my freinnnnnn.” He took it well.
Surprise is scheduled to happen Saturday, btw.
Funny, I don’t remember all this boozing that you speak of. We must have been at different conferences. We were high on intellectual inquiry, to be sure, but I recall nary an excess tipple, an untoward draught, an ill-advised dram from anyone at all.
One might argue that my failure to recall any of this is, however, no evidence at all that it did not happen. It might further be argued that my failed memory of these events is evidence of their troth. This might even be considered a strong argument, depending on whom one asks.
…nary an excess tipple, an untoward draught, an ill-advised dram…
Well, of course not. I did say it was organized drinking, didn’t I? We had a solemn duty to uphold. Nothing “ill-advised” or “untoward” about it. And we’re both still alive, so there you go.