I am finishing a fat chunk of writing this evening, and while I am disproportionately excited to be Actually Doing some Actual Work, other things seem to be throwing themselves in my path. I got distracted for a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide whether to go ahead and change now to the Gradual-School-Approved font and margins, or to keep using what I have been using and change it later. This text message exchange sums it up nicely:
Vague: am reading grad school’s formatting requirements and they are very definition of madness.
SuomiChris: DISSERTATION MUST BE WRITTEN IN BLOOD. DISSERTATIONS NOT WRITTEN IN AN ORGANIC INK WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. ALSO, DISSERTATION MUST BE BOUND IN CANDIDATE’S SKIN.
Vague: I am blogging that [....]
SuomiChris: Well, add this: DISSERTATION MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY CERTIFIED MEDICAL REPORT THAT CANDIDATE SUFFERED MENTAL BREAK DURING WRITING PROCESS.
So, is anybody out there a medical doctor?
Hey, look…if it’s blood, skin and a declaration of insanity that you desire, then I’ve got what you need.
That’s easy!
Hmmm, that sounds much more creepier than I intended…
hey, be careful, vague.
i helped an engineering student in the writing center last semester who had to have brain surgery when he finished his major project. the director of the writing center, a close friend of his, blamed it on stress.
All engineering students need brain surgery; lobotomies, in particular.
am eshewign artacle! am recamend u also verb at end of senatance put.
u wil feel is too bad!
I once wrote off to someplace in Missouri and was granted an M.D. via the mail. Who knew it was so easy!?!? So if it’s a medical evaluation/excuse yer needing, I can send you something fairly doctored up. I can also order you some pills from Canada apparently. Woo hoo!
In the meantime, I should also get back to my own thesis. Which will eventually consist of 70 pages of poetry at some point. Look for the dollar bins in front of any given used bookstore in about 5 yrs for a copy! ;)
AB– creepy indeed! You science guys and your stores of human tissue–all the time with the human tissue, I tell you.
C– that is one of the scariest and yet most probable things I have ever heard. I am probably going to be on Paxil by the time this is all over.
HA– are very soul of brevity. Are too cool for me. Am love it.
O– Heh. Awesome. So, I need to talk to you about some valiums… Also, I will totally buy your book.
I will totally steal your book, rip the covers off, and sell it on the black market.