Well, crap, y’all. The rest of this week and the beginning of next promise to be pretty action-packed for me. I have a huge stack of papers to grade as well as a huge stack of as-yet-unwritten pages of academic writing to complete. Can you believe I actually have to do some of that much-discussed dissertating? What a load of malarkey.
While I’m sure you’d all love to hear detail after sparkling detail of it all, I may be relatively absent for the next week. While I could pop by every now and then to “phone it in” (as the kids say) with creatively-titled seven-word posts (two of which words are both “fuck”), I think I’d better focus my over-caffeinated self on phoning it in to my adviser. Bo-ring!
This stinks, as I enjoy you and each of your lovely internet computer pixels with a pleasure that goes beyond words–a pleasure that sounds much like “Click, click. Giggle. Click. Clickety-click, giggle,” in fact.
In my absence, should any grammatical emergencies arise, feel free to leave your problem in the comments section and I will get back to you as soon as possible–provided, of course, that you do not close your request with a cocky “respond asap,” as did one of my students recently. Needless to say, I certainly did not respond “asap,” the tool.
Further to amuse you, may I suggest this album, especially good whether you like German pop or not.
I see an “I Love Lucy” type merry mixup where the students papers get submitted as the dissertation, or a fan mixes two stacks of paper. Vague you gotta lotta splainin’ to do!
Aw Gee Professer, I just went to the club for a little while!
god speed, little pink typewriter!
vague,
I met with my course director today who then passed back my written student evaluations. For the most part, they were good, except for the occasional fuck up who demanded I teach them more about grammer. So I sent my previous class from last term your email address stating that you were quite bored and had little to do right now and that you would be more than happy to answer any grammar questions they have.
I hope that was ok.
Anyway, good luck on that disseration or whatever it is you kids are calling it these days. In MFA land we call it, “The Book That WIll WITHOUT A DOUBT Make Me Famous.”
Heh.
Oh hey! Didja notice how I INTENTIONALLY misspelled grammer? Hahahaha!!!! Just kidding you know!
Ahem! See why I need your help? ;)
Apropos German Pop - you may/ might like Tocotronic’s latest album “Pure Vernunft darf niemals siegen.”
How unfortunate for you that your discipline lacks the concept of “graph”.
“Graph” is equivalent to 1000 written words.
“Graph” will keep your supervisor entranced for hours on end.
“Graph” takes approximately 5 mins to prepare and makes it look like you did 5 months of work.
I guarantee you won’t be disappointed by “graph”. Give it a try. Go on…
I second the AB’s contention about “graph”. You may also find “Graph”’s friend “Chart” a useful time-saving device.
I agree with Timothy. A supervisor is absolutely powerless under the combined influence of “graph” and “chart”.
Together, they are the PhD student’s only effective (and secret!) weapon.
Ahh - my old friends chart and graph. Makes me want to run right back to grad school. Good times…
Flavour shakers? Malarkey? You’ve been watching Jamie Oliver, innit?
GRAMMAR EMERGENCY!
Well, TYPO EMERGENCY!
When you said “respond asap” should it have read “respond TO a sap”?
Just wondering. Good luck with the dissertating.
Further power can be had by using the devil’s own “PowerPoint” to combine the powers of “Graph” and “Chart” onto many “slides” with nifty animations.
This is how communication is done in the real world of banking. Resistance is futile, I am borg.
boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
dissertating! i rely on yr blog to lift me from the normal tedium that is every day life. and to help me procrastinate my own dissertating. what will i do now? seriously, i’m in tears.
met with my director today and he told me, in so many words, that i needed to get my ass in gear. My response?
a big, fat “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
p.s.
fear is the mind-killer, vague, remember that.
And meat makes you strong, vague.
Meat. Makes you strong.
Ack, Powerpoint, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Evil Swiss Bankers(TM) make me use this heinous tool in order to “communicate” with them. Apparently they just don’t “get” the math behind the finance…
Meat: right on. Protein is a must. Particularly something high in Omega-3…like fish! Oh man, “Chart”, “Graph” and “Omega-3″; a recipe for total supervisor obliteration. I gotta write me this down.
I can’t even explain how much I hate PowerPoint, and yet I must use it to communicate with my bankly overlords. And the commercial lenders…damnable PowerPoint.
Ah, so I see this PowerPoint phenomena is not just endemic to Switzerland. Bankers everywhere have embraced this awful tool!
We should form a Society for the Abolishment of PowerPoint!!
YES!
I never had to use power point while I worked at the Stupid Bank. But that’s because I spent the whole time talking to Stupid People on the Stupid Phone. Damn, that job blew. Bluh-HEW!
Also, Oedipa, very funny. VERRRRRRY FUNNNNYYY. That scared me for a sec.