I won’t say I’m embarrassed at having bought the new Harry Potter book on the day it came out. I have been waiting for it basically since I finished reading the last one two years ago. In fact, in the event that you lot made fun of me for reading it, I had even prepared a bunch of poppycock in advance–so that I could remain staunch in its defense. You know, blather about how it’s a good story and how recognizing good stories is my job and I have been in school for an insane number of years learning how to find good stories and what to do with good stories when I do happen upon them.
Well, never mind that bollocks, as someone said once. Four chapters in, J.K. Rowling has already written "site" when she meant "sight" and "rise" when she meant "raise." Given those odds, I am shocked, frankly, that the monkey didn’t spell "unfazed" u-n-p-h-a-s-e-d, as do so many of my atrociously illiterate students.
Mere minutes after I wrote this, someone has already found their way here by searching for “Harry Potter” on Technorati.
Fuck.
This confirms something I’d long suspected - that publishers don’t bother to spend money sub-editing books, even those by very successful money-spinners. There’s a passage in a Terry Pratchett (can’t remember which) where a Scots piskie, having spent the previous 150 pages speaking comic Scots dialect suddenly switches, mid-sentence, to standard RP & grammar. Obviously Pratchett writes the stuff in ‘proper’ English first & then translates it into his Scots idiolect. But neither he nor anybody at his publisher had noticed that about a half-page of the stuff had been overlooked . . .
I can’t say anything nice, so I won’t say anything at all. See, mother, I am capable of self-restraint.
Well, if “raise” refers to “salary increase,” the British do tend to call that a “rise.”
Cf. this snippit from Pink Floyd’s “Money”:
Money, it’s a crime
Share it fairly but don’t take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it’s no surprise that they’re
giving none away
a) parachets a cunt. sory.
b) saw dave egars (cunt cunt cunt) speak at a bokstoare a few yers back an he siad taht for resons of cost pobleshers dont edit proparly anymoare so he hada get his freands to proafread his stupad noval.
c) rogar watrs is a cunt. not sory.
d) ‘rise’ is ‘raise’ in ukglish innit? (yeh i know taht othar guy (cnut!) said that but i waned a say ‘ukglish’).
e) ’site’ vs ’sight’ is a hangign ofanse. drag em out an shot em.
f) since ur a mebar of teh ‘girl wide web’ (?!) acordign to ur sidebar tihs may parhaps be up ur aley.
g) oh er an WTF?! JESUS!!1!
lol… unfazed…
Nick–that’s hilarious. I hope you just pointed at the book and laughed, shaming it for its stupidity.
HB–See, you say you are saying nothing by saying something, and that you are not saying anything that isn’t nice by implying something that isn’t nice. Fraught with contradictions! It’s so post-modern of you! I love it!
St. A–I refuse to be schooled in grammar by Pink Floyd, the same boobs who “don’t need no education.” Well, if you ask me, I ain’t need no double negatives, and I for sho’ ain’t need to do such as mix up my transitives and intransitives. I could also discuss at length the reasons why it shouldn’t be “a salary rise,” (i.e. the salary can’t rise of its own agency, but rather must be raised by another agent) but I suspect y’all don’t really want to discuss grammar, right? And who am I to question British usage?
HA–I don’t know where to start. Yeah, I am not a fan of Eggers or Waters and I don’t really know Pratchett. Watch out what you call St.A, though, that’s my dad and he is tough. Hee. And, just because I am a member of the “girl wide web” doesn’t mean I would like a pink guitar. Unless I really, REALLY would. So should I go for the heart-, flower-, or butterfly-shaped one???
Jen–yeah, can’t tell you how many times I saw “unphased” on people’s papers. “Like, so the guy doesn’t happen in phases, you say? How amaaaaaaazing” was usually my response.
augh! i noticed the “site” thing & re-read it, like, a dozen times to make sure i was right about it being wrong. people, i will gladly edit these things for a very nominal yearly salary (well, nominal if you consider some of the advances these writers get. fucking eggers, with his trendy trendy following).
Aha! Thanks, I am so glad you noticed that too. I mean, fortheluvvagod, people, edit your copy. Maybe we should call up and offer our services.
I remember the exact book I was reading as a little girl when I found my first typo and gloatingly pointed it out to my mother. It’s ruined me.
I wish I had as much money as Rowling.
That is all.
PLD–that drove me nuts as a kid, too. Like, how could I, a child, be smarter than an author?! Oh, and what was the book?
Tony–Now why would you wish that? It would rob you of your humility and down-to-earth-iness. Oh, nevermind. I can’t convince myself, even.
fucking muggles!
Indeed I hate them.