Come Summer, I am horribly, horribly deprived of new episodes of Alias. In their absence, I have been trying out new shows. Wonder Showzen, a bizarre faux-children’s show, has provided some recent amusement. A kid’s voice-over of a trip to a hot dog factory, for example:
You disgust me. I am going to be sick. Hold out your hands…so I can vomit…into your lower-class hands!
Like Sesame Street, it’s often “brought to you by the letters X and Y…,” or, occasionally, “brought to you by White People.” Please note, however: intoxication of some kind is definitely a must. Don’t watch this show sober. I am not joking.
Tallying up the literary and pop-cultural allusions on Gilmore Girls has been an ongoing project as well. While it’s my own personal version of The Donna Reed Show (pretty, idyllic setting; all conflicts resolved in 42 minutes a week), it manages to be at least a bit complex with witty, lightning-speed dialogue dropping references to everything from Tom Waits, Belle & Sebastian, and Leo Tolstoy to Donna Reed herself. Sadly, like Wonder Showzen, it’s resigned to be a guilty pleasure, as whenever I mention it, I get those “sigh…she’s such a girl” looks.
I suppose I should also admit that Zerlesen has got me hooked on Deadwood as well, though we’ve exhausted season one and must wait for season two to be released on DVD (no HBO; I am poor, people). It’s tempting to emulate Al Swearengen, as (in the old apartment) I often had the urge to stand on the balcony scowling down at the street below and calling everyone “cocksuckers,” then follow it up with an inevitable shot of whiskey. E.B. Farnum, however, with his hilarious Shakespearean soliloquies and Tennessee accent is my favorite scene-stealer. Just listen to the way he says a “wh-” word as if is begins with a very audible “h” :
Hhhwy should I reward E.B. with some small, fractional participation in the claim? Or let him even lay by a little security and source of continuing income for his declining years? Hhhwat’s he ever done for me? Except let me terrify him every goddamned day of his life ‘til the idea of bowel regularity is a full on fuckin’ hope.
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