Zemblan Grammar

Yesterday at the bank I had what I quickly (and accurately, albeit uncreatively) dubbed the worst phone call of all time. Don’t try asking someone who barely speaks English what their “gross monthly income” is. Don’t try asking them how much they “earn” or even “get paid” “per month.” Just skip right ahead to “Money? yes, money. Monthly. January, February, March, money, April, May, money money money?” The call, which was to open a new membership and take out a car loan, lasted for over an hour. By the end of it all we were both laughing hysterically. Sometimes I think hysterical laughter is the only appropriate response to a situation like that. It’s also good for the abs, and certainly less bad for the skull than hysterically banging one’s head on one’s desk.